Silence. For quite a while now.

Posted by May on Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Once, I was told: “What you say/write to someone will always be subjective or viewed as subjective, no matter how objective you try to be. People who stand by you will continue to do so and people who stand against you will always have a reason to do so regardless of what you say or do so why say or do anything more?”

“Words are powerful; they can manipulate or coerce; but at the end of the day, words are just words, ultimately limited in power. Yours against mine, anyone can say anything. Let your actions speak for you. Let others speak for you if they wish to.”

But, It definitely takes a lot more to give others credit, to give them the benefit of the doubt.

Increasingly, I find our youths (in general!), our world, badmouthing others so easily, with so little effort and concern, it has become a habit, a hobby. Especially under the veil of anonymity, behind people’s backs. We are becoming a very critical, cynical, and negative bunch. It really doesn’t take much to badmouth others, does it?

Yes, it’s fun to badmouth others. Fun. That’s all. Just for that moment. But does it make us happier? Or does it in fact make our world more negative? We all have the license to speak and badmouth and criticise, by virtue of our mouths. It’s free. But perhaps, we would like to take more responsibility in what we say? Why don't we learn to take more responsibility in the consequences of our actions? To display more maturity and integrity in our words and actions?

Just remember...

When we point at someone else using our hand, one finger is pointing at them but three fingers are pointing back at ourselves.

The next time we want to badmouth others, think again.

I badmouth you. You badmouth me.
Do we really want a dog-eat-dog world?

My answer is No. What’s yours?

--

Unfortunately, my voice is always going to be viewed as subjective and hence less credibly regarded though possibly more well-informed.

It’s just the feeling of being wronged or maligned that I didn’t like which I couldn’t come to terms with. I’ll live with it.

Silence. For quite a while now.

Change

Posted by May on Sunday, March 27, 2011

Something that never fails to fascinate me is when someone from our past comes by one day and pops up with a line like... "Hey, you've changed."

Okay.
WOW.

Like really? Wow.

Like as if that is NOT supposed to happen. It's as if change is so fundamentally difficult that nobody is supposed to let it happen. It's like they take a gun and point it straight at your head, telling you that you... ain't you anymore.

But hey, what IS the real me? Who are YOU to tell me who am I supposed to be? So what if I've changed? Don't we all exist to change and morph and grow? So am I supposed to be 145cm short and consistently possess an IQ of 135 every time our paths cross? Hello, I'm real here, not a projection of your tainted memory.

So yeah, the next time you decide to tell someone "You've changed" (suggesting a negative connotation), think again. You have no rights to chain someone to his/her past. We are who we are TODAY, not who we WERE yesterday (even the grammar makes total sense.)

In conclusion, embrace change, be it good or bad, 'cause that's what makes us US.

That's all I have to say for today.

What's my view?

Posted by May on Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Here’s my view: Religion won’t save a person. You know what does? A true relationship with a Savior, and that’s none other than Jesus Christ. Because He will save you not only from hell but also from the hell we inevitable set ourselves up for here on this Earth.

I believe that Faith trumps religion by an infinity of miles. If you add trust to that and a daily commitment to walk with the One who gave it all, then I think you’re all set for life!

If you have never believed what I’m saying here is true, maybe you can try seeking God with all your heart and ask Him to make Himself real to you. Because if you ask me now to prove God’s existence, I can tell you already that I can’t. Even I have a lot of things I don’t understand about God and the way He does things.

But I acknowledge the fact that He’s God and I’m not, and that my little human brain can only understand so much. But even more than that, the main reason why I believe He is real is because He is real to me. And I sincerely hope that no one misses out on His overwhelming realness because, seriously...

what’s life without the One who gave it to you?

I'm a Cow(ard).

Posted by May on Thursday, March 17, 2011

I am not okay. I haven't been for how many weeks already. I've been going through a lot of confusion and uncertainty lately that has cause me to become nothing more than an emotional wreck. At one stage, I honestly felt like I couldn't take it anymore. I needed something to counter everything that's causing me so much pressure and sadness.

You see, this pressure isn't at all bad. If anything, I believe it would actually do me good. But I'm a cow(ard). If I just had a little more courage to talk to God about it and if I trusted God maybe just a little more, then maybe I wouldn't be feeling like this. But no, because of my superficial ego, I'm willing to put everything on the line. I'm so silly.

So anyways, last week I almost gave up. On what? On God, maybe? On my commitment in making myself and my life better for His glory? I reasoned to myself that I couldn't feel God helping me out. I even complained that I felt so alone. And I felt so helpless because there's been this constant battle inside of me. It's like those comedy films where the angel and the devil are flying above my shoulders and simultaneously harassing me with their brilliant and a-MAY-zing ideas - only, It just wasn't comedic at all like in the movies. It's been really tiring and because I'm still growing spiritually, I'm vulnerable and very easily tempted.

Despite my desire to fix my life according to what God wants for me, I've been compromising a lot, trying to convince Him that maybe we could meet somewhere along the lines, wherein my plans and His plans would somehow meet in the middle. But of course, I know that was so foolish of me. Surrendering everything to God, even the things that seem harmless or even good, is never easy. I need to trust Him more for me to be able to do that.

It took a lot of things to happen to make me realize my sudden lack of faith in Him. Even though I know God is always with me and will never forsake me, even though I know He loves me and that fact will never ever change, it still doesn't give me as much comfort as I need.

I've preached about God and how all of us should abide in His ways because in the end, we'll know it's for the best. I've felt how mighty He is and how He can change lives just as long as we let Him. But where has all that wisdom gone?

Where has my positive attitude towards love, life and destiny gone?

I pray for courage to confide in you Lord,
....before it's too late.

no matter what happens, the show must go on.

Jeremiah 29:11

Posted by May on Monday, March 14, 2011

Let me introduce you to one of the worst verses in the Bible:

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11)

If you’ve been in or around a church for more than two weeks you’re probably tempted to label me a heretic right now. Because that verse is the golden child of the Christian universe. It’s the place we go to in the midst of chaos to reassure ourselves that God has our back. It’s the promise we claim when we’re worried about the future. In fact, it’s probably the most popular promise of God in the entire Bible.

But it’s not the promise found in the verse that makes it so bad. It’s our response to what the promise is predicated upon. Before Jeremiah 29:11 comes Jeremiah 29:10. And there we find the context of God’s promise: “When seventy years are completed for Babylon, I will come to you and fulfill my gracious promise to bring you back to this place.”

God had plans for Israel. Plans of prosperity. Plans of giving them a hope and a future. But first came 70 years of exile in a foreign land, waiting for the promise to be fulfilled. 70 years of poverty preceded plans of prosperity. 70 years of pain and danger preceded plans of no harm. 70 years of seemingly hopeless present circumstances preceded plans of a hopeful future.

This is the reality we don’t like to talk about when we quote Jeremiah 29:11. Yes, God does have plans for us. That’s an incredible promise we should cling to. A promise that’s true. A promise that’s more than a pipe dream. But it’s also a promise that doesn’t always find its completion now. Sometimes it’s later. And later is usually always later than we want it to be.

What makes Jeremiah 29:11 one of the worst verses in the Bible has nothing to do with the verse itself. It’s the imposition of our timetable onto it. We expect the utterance of this verse to calm the chaos now. To get God to reveal our future now.

But that’s not the purpose of this verse. It’s supposed to give us something to cling onto in the midst of chaos. In the midst of an uncertain future. In the midst of circumstances that scream the very opposite of what God is telling us He has for us. It reminds us that regardless of what our present reality and waiting might tempt us to believe, God has not forgotten about us. We are still His people. He is still our God. And while we might have to wait in a place we don’t want to be to see them come to fruition, He still has plans for us.

And it’s when we can embrace this that Jeremiah 29:11 becomes one of the best verses in the Bible.


http://rfiles.thebowmans.us/Images/Scriptures/Jeremiah/Jeremiah29_11.jpg

(Written by Pastor Steven Furtick)

--

I don't necessary agree with everything that Pastor Steven Furtick said but I reckon it was very, very well written and definitely worth sharing with anyone that stumbles on this page.

To anyone who reads this, will you pray for me?

Posted by May on Tuesday, March 08, 2011

So.. yesterday, quite a lot of things happened in 24 hours. But basically, the 2 major things that really affected my mood and basically flipped my mood 180 degrees was that I lost my wallet and I failed in being obedient to the Lord. I've never been so disappointed in myself for being disobedient. All my consecutive obedient days now seems to count for nothing. nothing at all. *face palm*

Because of the 2 major things, I've changed into a very grumpy and annoyed person. When I'm annoyed, no one should ever think about coming in my way or obstructing my path. If your wise, don't talk to me. If your really smart, avoid me. Avoid me at all cost. Run if you must. Run as fast and as far away as you can.

If you do manage to piss me off, I will impress upon you the severe mistake you have made. I'll be forced to unleash upon you the vengeful flames of a thousand suns.



No.

I'll let you go. I'll let you run. I'll let you run as far as you can. And you'll begin your life leaving in fear, knowing that when you least expect it the looming sword of Damocles will crash down upon you. And as you gaze upon the smoking wreckage that was once your life you will regret the day you crossed the wrong person.

If all else fails. I'll probably still be able to make you change lanes on the highway every time you drive like you're trying to get away from me. And you'll relish keeping your head on a swivel and cranking the wheel as you gas it.

In other words, I'll show you how is it like dancing with the Devil.

No. I take it back.

Reflecting on my actions from yesterday, it dawned on me how immature of a Catholic I still am. Even though I thought I knew a lot already, my actions often fail to mirror what I know. I've always had a problem with consistency and obedience to the Lord, and at this point, I don't know if I'll ever achieve that (I'm being really general here). But maybe it's just that I'm continually being drawn to the 'wicked ways of the world'.

Obviously, I'm scared. I'm scared of missing out on fun--one that's defined to me by the world. And that goes for my superficial priorities - materialism, my unhealthy habits, pursuing love and wanting it to always be magical even if it goes against what God wants for me. These things are what's constantly pulling me back from doing the right things. And although I don't always let them win me over, I know I'm nowhere near victory.

I don't really know, what I'm talking about here. I know that God is truly bigger than who I am. Compared to Him, I am just like an ant. I know that the right way is to obey and just keep obeying, until things are made clear to me by God. Sadly, though, I'm lacking the drive to just obey, especially when I'm still part of this world who are driven by their own superficial priorities.

Being obedient was harder than I ever fathom it would be.
I feel like I'm battling this alone - and losing.

To anyone who reads this, will you pray for me?

Oh, and I found my wallet. Praise the Lord!

Faith seems tangible again. Praise the Lord!

Posted by May on Saturday, March 05, 2011

Praise the Lord! I am finally in a place, once again, where God is able to directly communicate with me through scriptures. Though I am currently going through difficult times, God is always faithful, and He clearly proves it through His Word in the bible.



Even when I feel like my heart has been placed into a mincing machine, when I feel like I've been betrayed by the people who were meant to be the closest to me, and all that trust that I have been building for months/years seems to count for nothing and all my efforts seems to be wasted - the Lord is always there to comfort me and assure me that everything will turn out fine as long as I surrender and lift all my heartaches and troubles up to him.

Recently, everything that I have been reading has been so applicable to my circumstances and my problems. Faith seems tangible again. I miss this kind of intimacy. It’s been quite a while since I’ve trusted the Lord to this extent, or anyone for that matter. Although my troubles seem to be engulfing my life, I feel peace.

Thank you Lord, for bringing me back down to my knees.