I've been feeling Blaaaah. My thoughts have also been blah. I felt torn almost everyday and I've started to lose interest in a lot of things. To be honest, I was angry with God. I kept going through trials after trials & they never seem to be ending. If that wasn't bad enough, I had to deal with it all by myself. What's worst was that... I couldn't even get what I wanted. So, I began to think to myself: Why am I going through all these trials when God doesn't seem to care about what I want?

I was so mad & frustrated that it actually came to a point where I was fuming which such rage that I refuse to read my bible or even say my prayers. I even broke down at youth during praise and worship because.. I felt so distant from God. And of course, the last thing I wanted to do was blog about it for 900 people to read and know that I was angry with God.

But God is good. And, I'm not saying that because He gave me what I wanted in the end -- because He didn't. And it hurt. Of course it hurt. But, I realize that even the greatest people in the Bible didn't have a smooth-sailing life either. With them, however, the tragedy wasn't just in not getting what they hoped for, but more often than not, it was something much worse.

For instance, we have Daniel who had his share of lions in the den, Joseph who was betrayed by his own brothers, and Jonah who got swallowed up by a whale. And, of course.. there's Jesus who died for our sins.

These are some of the most significant historical figures that ever lived, and they obviously weren't always happy. Where's the good news, you might ask? My answer is, their stories didn't end there just yet, and I think that was what made all the differences. When Jesus died, his story was not over because He died for a reason, which required him to rise again from the grave three days later. And in doing so, was able to fulfill the very task that God assigned him. And because of that -- because Jesus fought the good fight, we've found freedom and all the hope to live on.

So I refuse to believe that God is the kind of God who allows people to end up in a den full of lions or inside the stomach of a whale for no good reason. We may not know His reason for it at the time -- which is why it's just so hard to trust God, right? -- but if there's another thing that I am learning, it's that the only way we're ever going to have a chance at finding out God's purpose for our shattered dreams is through these two steps:

I don't think we're ever going to be the kind of people God dreams for us to be until we realize -- and may I quote Pete Wilson on this -- "He cares more about who we're becoming than where we're going or what we're achieving". In other words, God will always care more about our character than our personal comfort or happiness. And I guess for many like me, our stubborn clinging to comfort and happiness could just be what is holding us back from the best that God has called us to. Because a lot of times, and I think, this might just apply to just about everything, the best things are the ones worth striving for, suffering for and changing for.

But, now that it's over.. and for the sake of being cooler. Let's just pretend I wasn't dealing with teenage angst and that I flew out of earth and befriended some aliens instead. Yep, I've most definitely got swag. But, to end this blog post, to everyone reading this... just know that it's perfectly fine to be angry with God because truth be told, God.. can handle it.

So, no matter what trials anyone is facing...