I am not made righteous by anything I do, but by Christ who died on the cross. May I never forget this. May I cease my struggles of the flesh in attempting to better myself or to earn God’s favor. I am justified—it is done. And it is for this reason that I perform good deeds. I have to remember that it is because of God’s amazing grace that I obey, not the other way around to where I obey in order to gain his grace. His grace is already given to me.

This should be the foundation upon which I build my life and the source from which I find my joy. When will I end my search for joy in the material, perishable things of this world as well as in my relationships that have yet to satisfy me? I do not understand why I continue to look for satisfaction in things that I know will always fail to bring me contentment. Why can't I remember that it is God and God alone who satisfies? Am I so foolish and so naive?

This only reveals how much I am in need of a savior. I pray that God would continue to give me wisdom and understanding of the Gospel and how it has everything to do with my place here on this earth; that this wisdom would leave me humbled and broken so that God might use me for his purpose; that this wisdom would convict my soul to repentance and lead me into genuine worship; that I would not grow numb towards the power of Scripture and the Holy Spirit.

I wish to surrender all things now so that I would not rob myself of the joy of living life to the fullest, just as God has intended. God is here, and he is working. I just know it.